You don't have to pay $100.00 for this free brochure.
Great,
You sat for De Kooning, can we get along with our lives.
Raushenberg might have erased yours.
We're all thinking about the why.
Possibly we're thinking not about the "because" because "because" is some verb, noun or punctuation we're not supposed to use.
Go to bed you Cheap Slab.
Writing pitiful little remarks doesn't make anyone more handsome,
It only requires more apostrophes.
." You Dumb Fuck'm Fucker!" Sorry Fred, I had to get some regression out.
(these Barristers these days)
Please come home, quit everything and hold me!!!!!!!!!
Please keep me in your dreams.
Oliva
P.S I write somethings to think about your smile.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Friday, November 21, 2008
Please be eated
'So, I said to that bitch...her. HER! OLIVA, god damn it. I said, "Oliva, stop fucking around. Please. Will you pretty please stop fucking around."
What happened next? What the fuck do you mean what happened next? Well, uh...she skipped to my fucking loo a couple of times and then rushed off to make a birthday cake. She fucking flipped her shit, man. She lost it. Cold mustard lost it.'
Fred is full of regret. Dirty regret "like the kind you find in a second hand store."
Fuck it.
Oliva is a bitch.
What happened next? What the fuck do you mean what happened next? Well, uh...she skipped to my fucking loo a couple of times and then rushed off to make a birthday cake. She fucking flipped her shit, man. She lost it. Cold mustard lost it.'
Fred is full of regret. Dirty regret "like the kind you find in a second hand store."
Fuck it.
Oliva is a bitch.
Feels like the worst time
My eyes feel heavy like those rocks we found in th' river. Thoughts feel heavy, You've clawed, chipped and marked this beautiful cave, and I don't want to leave. I feel kinda helpless for getting sad over your red and orange. Don't worry, I'm familiar. Please, it's I am.
Motherfuckers Take Dirt Naps
This is what we know about Fred so far.
This is what we know about his companion Oliva.
She's HOT! For real, we saw her sunbathing on the Coast.
This is what we know about Kibitzer
A spectator at a card game who looks at the players cards over their shoulders, especially one who gives unsolicited advice. Possible a giver of unsolicited or unwanted advice, maybe even a person who jokes, chitchats or make wisecracks while others are trying to work or discuss something seriously.
This is what we know about his companion Oliva.
She's HOT! For real, we saw her sunbathing on the Coast.
This is what we know about Kibitzer
A spectator at a card game who looks at the players cards over their shoulders, especially one who gives unsolicited advice. Possible a giver of unsolicited or unwanted advice, maybe even a person who jokes, chitchats or make wisecracks while others are trying to work or discuss something seriously.
No offense to the player
I had the unfortunate experience of reading the paper this morning. It told me that half the nation is on antidepressants. I mean, what a bunch of fucking pussies. Walking around, not actually feeling the gnawing sense of disappointment in our failed and flawed systems. I want to hurt, to feel angry with myself, to weep openly when I feel the emptiness of it all, to kick myself for not saving more money, to get upset and actually experience and somewhat enjoy my depression- it is all necessary to my growth as a human being. I got a package from someone named Lt. Michael Torres. It was a two foot by one foot by three foot box. I did not open it because it was not for me, but the address was my address. Who is Lt. Michael Torres? Jonah called me and told me that I had better leave town tonight. I listened to his answering machine message about a dozen times in a row as if I had some voice stress analyzer in my brain. He is such a 'tard. Always so paranoid and always overreacting. I decided to find Fred by singing his favorite song out on my porch. It didn't attract Fred, it just attracted some riffraff called the porch cats. After I flashed my shotgun in order to run them off, I decided to call Jonah. When I put my hand on the phone it started to ring. I picked it up and someone rapidly gave me directions to drop off the package on Haight St. I asked if Lt. Michael would be there and the person hung up the phone. After that, I washed my dishes and thought about how much I would love to go bowling. Maybe old man Pritchett would want to bowl a game with me. I dialed his number and left a message. Fred stopped by soon after that and told me that Oliva was filing for divorce.
Living For a Sammich
Fred Killer Plus
- Fastest killing Fred EVER!
- Kills Fred dead in his tracks
- Keeps killing up to four weeks
Fred killer Plus kills Fred in two ways.
1. It kills Fred on contact.
2. It keeps on killing even after residual contact.
IT'S A VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LAW TO USE THIS PRODUCT IN A MANNER INCONSTANT WITH ITS LABELING.
--Shake well before use
--Avoid contact with skin or clothing
--Do not apply to Pets,Contaminate Feed, Foodstuffs, dishes or Utensil's.
- Fastest killing Fred EVER!
- Kills Fred dead in his tracks
- Keeps killing up to four weeks
Fred killer Plus kills Fred in two ways.
1. It kills Fred on contact.
2. It keeps on killing even after residual contact.
IT'S A VIOLATION OF FEDERAL LAW TO USE THIS PRODUCT IN A MANNER INCONSTANT WITH ITS LABELING.
--Shake well before use
--Avoid contact with skin or clothing
--Do not apply to Pets,Contaminate Feed, Foodstuffs, dishes or Utensil's.
Sweat Dreams
They say the fetus is malignant.
AND AND Everyone tries to make me hate.
Those leaves always lie next to your socks. Where do you walk?
Where are my pills, liquor, pillow, dreams, pants and chicken fried steak!
Fred, please listen to me! Everything is awry, possibly colloquial.
Teams, managers, representyatives, even associates. It's all carelessness!
Allot of things aint worth the thought. Butt I know you are,
I've been earning this oven, and Mondays. When you do it right, and you make people laugh, it makes someone feel special.
I want to offer you a free meal worth as much as $6.95.
groceries in the back seat.
,Oliva
AND AND Everyone tries to make me hate.
Those leaves always lie next to your socks. Where do you walk?
Where are my pills, liquor, pillow, dreams, pants and chicken fried steak!
Fred, please listen to me! Everything is awry, possibly colloquial.
Teams, managers, representyatives, even associates. It's all carelessness!
Allot of things aint worth the thought. Butt I know you are,
I've been earning this oven, and Mondays. When you do it right, and you make people laugh, it makes someone feel special.
I want to offer you a free meal worth as much as $6.95.
groceries in the back seat.
,Oliva
The Purple Swirls Mean Nothing
Even ,
Fred has been "supposed than" .
"Hey Richard. can you turn it down a little bit?"
I think or feel it's going gone.
We're living this same old day over and over again.
Black, Yellow Ocher, Purple and Reasonably Blue. Those are the colors I picked.
Yellow Ocher and Reasonably Blue are my favorite!
Fred has been "supposed than" .
"Hey Richard. can you turn it down a little bit?"
I think or feel it's going gone.
We're living this same old day over and over again.
Black, Yellow Ocher, Purple and Reasonably Blue. Those are the colors I picked.
Yellow Ocher and Reasonably Blue are my favorite!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Under Protest
Instead of walking, we crawled. Instead of talking, we grunted.
Our past times included "bury the man," "eat with this toothpick,"
"microwave this experiment," and "why not a sky light?"
Satellites drifted into the conversation. The national anthem
was still being composed, and we had not learned our own language.
The popular accent in the country was Russian because our
alphabet became prettier the more Eastern we sounded.
Every dinosaur in the encyclopedia had to be memorized.
A graph that would so accord the memorization was drawn up.
It was decided that this would be our national flag.
Fred was our president. He loved dinosaurs and Oliva.
Oliva was not the first lady. Nor was she the last.
Our white house is green. Sure, it's got solar panels.
The white house has a green house and a compost.
The compost is where Fred relieves himself regularly.
The presidential compost is very brown and smells.
It smells like a dinosaur farted. That's where gasoline come from.
When we have to talk about foreign policy, we talk dinos.
For real, that is the way a country ought to be.
Our past times included "bury the man," "eat with this toothpick,"
"microwave this experiment," and "why not a sky light?"
Satellites drifted into the conversation. The national anthem
was still being composed, and we had not learned our own language.
The popular accent in the country was Russian because our
alphabet became prettier the more Eastern we sounded.
Every dinosaur in the encyclopedia had to be memorized.
A graph that would so accord the memorization was drawn up.
It was decided that this would be our national flag.
Fred was our president. He loved dinosaurs and Oliva.
Oliva was not the first lady. Nor was she the last.
Our white house is green. Sure, it's got solar panels.
The white house has a green house and a compost.
The compost is where Fred relieves himself regularly.
The presidential compost is very brown and smells.
It smells like a dinosaur farted. That's where gasoline come from.
When we have to talk about foreign policy, we talk dinos.
For real, that is the way a country ought to be.
Sharky's
Fred found this new roller coaster named "The Crutch". He'll ride it for months, weekends or just minutes. He'll go back in line to wait, for years, weekdays or just seconds. They say the most exciting part of the ride is waiting.
Split Second Victory (YES!)
Fred got fat
Oliva
Love,
.you about worrying We're
.long too away stay don't Please
.missed You're
.sick got all we, happened this time last The .fine is garden the ,and well, Well . .loved You're
Simcard now is Stewart ,and Dung now is Doug ,Hints Small called is son Boardman's Senator ,(nice not one's that) Ass Von Hole is Margaret ,you calls he what is Filariasis, Fred .nicknames of types all creating around running ,good-time a had has Cornelious .up you cheer might this thought I
.Fred us to back Come .hands and head your touch I'll .face your touch I'll .
Fred
Dear,
Love,
.you about worrying We're
.long too away stay don't Please
.missed You're
.sick got all we, happened this time last The .fine is garden the ,and well, Well . .loved You're
Simcard now is Stewart ,and Dung now is Doug ,Hints Small called is son Boardman's Senator ,(nice not one's that) Ass Von Hole is Margaret ,you calls he what is Filariasis, Fred .nicknames of types all creating around running ,good-time a had has Cornelious .up you cheer might this thought I
.Fred us to back Come .hands and head your touch I'll .face your touch I'll .
Fred
Dear,
You knew it was severed when you saw it
Oliva,
If Attacked
Run towards a lighted house; yell "Fire!".
Spit on face, act bizarre, vomit.
Rip off glasses.
Step hard on foot (instep).
Aim at eyes; try to gouge eyes, scrape face.
Hit throat at Adam's apple ( larynx.)
Use fighting and screaming with caution, this may scare some although encourage others.
Try talking.
Make close observations.
Good luck.
Fred
If Attacked
Run towards a lighted house; yell "Fire!".
Spit on face, act bizarre, vomit.
Rip off glasses.
Step hard on foot (instep).
Aim at eyes; try to gouge eyes, scrape face.
Hit throat at Adam's apple ( larynx.)
Use fighting and screaming with caution, this may scare some although encourage others.
Try talking.
Make close observations.
Good luck.
Fred
May I Take Your Coat?
Barking Yards.
A Drean I thunk Uou could Yse.
I=m not being clever!
What's in it for FRED?
i'm sorry, that was a little loud. I should stop,
Close my eyes, and smell.
The clock's hands.
A Drean I thunk Uou could Yse.
I=m not being clever!
What's in it for FRED?
i'm sorry, that was a little loud. I should stop,
Close my eyes, and smell.
The clock's hands.
Anglican Nightmares
We danced a dance that lasted for a segment, a figurative allotment, a grain through the hour glass, a moment of music. The Fred is a step that uses your hips, denounces your feet, pronounces the pelvis, emphasizes your crotch, beckons your buttocks, shuns your shins, segues your mid-drift, and mocks your mouth. We were up until bed time, twirling this Freddy night away as if high on a wizard's aphrodisiac. It was a cross between a graceful waltz and a frat boy belch, a cross between a somersault and an orgasm, a cross between a stroll around the park and a trip to the refrigerator, a cross between a gallop on horse back and a gallop poll. What a night of Fred, Fred, Fred!
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Sweaty makes sense
"Does my body?"
Science cannot be sure.
Damage is often limited to precarious and instantaneous fallacy. "Due unto others" suddenly rings untrue.
"FAT!"
Fred feels enamored once more. Time holds him like Sela Ward forgives.
"FRED?"
Science cannot be sure.
Damage is often limited to precarious and instantaneous fallacy. "Due unto others" suddenly rings untrue.
"FAT!"
Fred feels enamored once more. Time holds him like Sela Ward forgives.
"FRED?"
Bleeding
Fred:
I've seen enough. Since we last spoke, I've lost all hope and 14% of my body mass.
Using matches as people is sick.
Love,
oLiva
I've seen enough. Since we last spoke, I've lost all hope and 14% of my body mass.
Using matches as people is sick.
Love,
oLiva
The After-Glow Principle
My brain's on a brier, It's like what a kid says.
Distance disassembles.
grinning snouts and thirst of the eye,
poisoned with language.
I'm starting to sound to much like Nietzshe,
Translated by Walter.
Sorry Oliva,
Fred
P.S. The hot dogs are defrosting in the sink.
___________________________________________________________
Next time Fred comes over he won't be getting more than a snack or two. He probably will want to see a specific part of my DVD collection. There won't be any awkward silences. We will probably talk in rhyme.
'I want to eat cheese while kneeling on my knees.'
'There's a hair in my underwear, it's not fair.'
'Well, then take them off and dance like Sid and Marty Croft.'
'Oh and then it won't be a nuisance and we can watch a "State of Druggachusets."'
Fred doesn't come over very often anymore. I think it's because I got a little too friendly once. The weirdest part was I told myself I was being "fred-ly." For some reason, that made it okay.
____________________________________________________________
Dearest Oliva,
I don't have anything hard enough to beat it with, and my hands would be like shit slopping all over the place !
I've written a poem.
Withered gray and green.
I have become old already.
I saw the morning grow weary.
Laughter and wisdom groveling back like mosquitoes.
Longing for hearts.
The rest - are always the most.
You've moved and always do,
Fred
Distance disassembles.
grinning snouts and thirst of the eye,
poisoned with language.
I'm starting to sound to much like Nietzshe,
Translated by Walter.
Sorry Oliva,
Fred
P.S. The hot dogs are defrosting in the sink.
___________________________________________________________
Next time Fred comes over he won't be getting more than a snack or two. He probably will want to see a specific part of my DVD collection. There won't be any awkward silences. We will probably talk in rhyme.
'I want to eat cheese while kneeling on my knees.'
'There's a hair in my underwear, it's not fair.'
'Well, then take them off and dance like Sid and Marty Croft.'
'Oh and then it won't be a nuisance and we can watch a "State of Druggachusets."'
Fred doesn't come over very often anymore. I think it's because I got a little too friendly once. The weirdest part was I told myself I was being "fred-ly." For some reason, that made it okay.
____________________________________________________________
Dearest Oliva,
I don't have anything hard enough to beat it with, and my hands would be like shit slopping all over the place !
I've written a poem.
Withered gray and green.
I have become old already.
I saw the morning grow weary.
Laughter and wisdom groveling back like mosquitoes.
Longing for hearts.
The rest - are always the most.
You've moved and always do,
Fred
Fred gets it: Reprise
Fred and Oliva sit, still holding hands. A 14 horse led carriage is trying to parallel park. 4 minutes, 7 minutes, 12 minutes, It takes so long, ..................abbreviations are necessary. 22 min. love stems from both ears, one lip, one finger, and one eye.
Sitting on it
Freddy and Frankie both committed terrible crimes. One time, Frankie killed a forty year old mother of two for a twenty dollar bill. It was messy and he could never live it down. He asked for the gas chamber. Inside the chamber, there were small notes. The notes told Frankie how to play jazz. Before Frankie was gassed, he was free styling on the pentatonic scale for a while on a piano in the loony bin. Freddy looks like shit.
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