Do unto others

Fred is drinking away the hole in his soul. In his great town of bum fuck nowhere Louisiana. The beefeater gin has long since stop listening to Fred's issues with transvestites and lollipops. Fred hurriedly undress and hops in his Geo Metro. With no particular place to go Fred just drives naked. Finally he spots a police car, excitedly he begins to pursue the the authorities vehicle. After 20 minutes of shadowing the car it suddenly turns its lights and siren and accelerates rapidly with Fred desperately trying to keep up. Fred notices the car pull into a drive way on a dirt street. Fred parks waiting for the police car to resume his normal duties. While he waits he takes a few more sips from his almost empty bottle not noticing the second police car sneaking up on the unsuspecting Metro. Suddenly the car door is thrown open and Fred is thrown face down to the dirt road and is quickly cuffed. Plain Dealing Louisiana's finest exclaims "Boy, you are Naked"
in his fear Fred pisses himself the warm urine and dirt sticks to his pubes and stomach hair. The officer chuckling to himself asks "Where is your licenses, Son?" and "Why are you chasing a police official naked and drunk?" Fred wittingly replies that his licenses isn't in his back pocket.

'I Must Tell You
That I Should Really Like To Think There's Something Wrong With Me-
Because, If There Isn't, Then There's Something Wrong
With The World Itself-And That's Much More Frightening!
That Would Be Terrible. So I'd rather Believe
There is Something Wrong With Me, That Could Be Put Right.'

T.S. Eliot The Cocktail Party