and it gets even awesome'r

I still cannot believe there is an American human named "Apple."

So last night Nathan Lane called me to discuss the Almore and Ilmore characters for use in on around Broadway. I really do not see the transition to theatre but I am not the professional in the conversation so I give him a listen. Seems he has a new play due out but no direction and wants it to fail. He caught wind of these two brothers who were going nowhere fast in their nowhere town fast and the bar fast they frequent. I told him repeatedly that these guys are not into Public Image Limited and even though I would listen to a new album, if they were to ever release one, these 2 brothers are not interested.
Here is where Big Nate began laying it on pretty thick. If I could get these 2 guys to go to NY and just check it out he really thinks they would come around and do it. At this point he must think these two characters are real because he is loosing me fast. Matter of fact I might be confusing what he is saying with that movie Mouse Trap which was on. Either way he finally convinced me to bring the brothers to New York City.
We arrive in grand style, there was an unbelievably long line of Taxi cabs outside vying for position to take us where ever we needed to go. I proceeded to go down the line like the Grand Marshall Judge type guy at the Dog Shows on that television instrument. I was eyeing them all, walking by slowly, pausing for a second then moving on to the next. Each Cabbie breathless in anticipation of being picked. They were all petting their cabs and primping them up to look their best. What a show! Finally one cabbie was so eager he couldn’t stand it and took it so far as to punch me in the nose and run off with my bags to put in his car. I am not fond of this guy at this point though. By the time my eyes cleared I couldn’t find the guys cab or my gear.
Big Nate finally walks up (which he is not as big as a "Big Nate" would imply so right away I am under impressed) and is quizzing about where Almore and Ilmore are. "Big Nate, I told you these guys are characters" I said. He ponders on, "Oh so they are messing with me huh? Where are they really? They inside still?". "Yes Nathan, they are still inside" I finish, "can we just get on to the broads? They will catch up in time I promise."
Let me tell you now and here that this "Broadway" we all know and robotize is, well how do I put this, let us all just come to realize right now that though we love it, we still want to use its mouth as a toilet. What a hag rag used for a game of tag row of glitter and glamour. Lights flashing bright all over the place, people costumed out calling out like carnies at the fair. One of the billboards had the following listed and I immediately know I have to catch that show though.
Bobby Ogden on Piano, Thanks Bobby.
Charlie McCoy on harmonica, Oh Charlie.
Russ Hicks on Steel Guitar.
and introducing Muhammad Ali….
Nathan and I enter into his side door to their theatre so I can get a feel for the place, the dressing rooms, stage presence and acoustics. It is a really nice place on the inside. The room is perfect for the doldrum antics of my two characters. "They would fit in nicely here" I say, "you can use them however you wish so long as you follow my story exactly."