and now, the starting pitcher for YOUR Texas Rangers...

"Our Cliff, who art in Tampa, Winner be thy name. The Rays will come, they will be done, in Florida as they should have been in Texas. Give us this day our series win, and forgive us our loses and lead us not into the offseason, but deliver us to New York. For the Rangers are the ALDS, ALCS, and World Series Champions forever and ever. AMEN!!!!!"

Best Movie Scenes: No Cuts, (also one of the best scenes)

Sad, sad sad.

Afghanistan, August, 2010 - The Big Picture - Boston.com

Greatest Scenes::::;:::UnCut

This is your prize.

Bestest Scene: No Cut (I win)

Tried to find nose touching, but you get this instead...no cuts

Best Scenes: no cuts

Best Scenes: no cuts (unfortunately)

No cuts

Best Movie Scenes: No Cuts

More kung fu bullshit

Cutlasser

Best movie scenes: Cutlass

Best Movie Scenes: No Cuts

Best Movie Scenes: No Cuts

Adullah the Butcher done right

You see this portrait and you just post a link? Skeegleton, if you are so stupid....why I gotta repeat myself. I know you are new to the internets and all. But, fuck.

Let's go to Hotlanta!

http://www.burgerbeast.com/2009/03/abdullah-butcher-house-of-ribs-chinese.html

Design-ass bitches with default fonts.

Richard 529

Bill 622

por flavor

K-nowledge with

Image Extraction

One of my top 5 favorite artists.

http://www.robertlongo.com/work/

LNS are the letters in the catch light of her eyes.

Speaking of

If Justin can put LNS music to this it would be POPPIN'

I maybe two years late from the information super highway, but I'm catching up.

10 Americans in the audience believe the sun revolves around Wayne.

How many links does it take to find this shit, damn it!

One step closer to all of David's aliases.

http://www.tv.com/the-incredible-hulk/show/150/trivia.html?season=1&tag=show_trivia;paginator;1

I just heard this for the first time 10 minutes ago.

Gibbytronics

Nice things are waiting for your eyeballs.

http://ffffound.com/?offset=25&

Straight Up Pimp Promoting

No one like us left.

Get your IFC in order boys...

...always a potential for terrifically terrible and excruciatingly good moments.

'Kids in the Hall' reunite for comedy miniseries
The Canadian-born funny guys are back on television

see me

Now they're back on TV screens in "The Kids in the Hall: Death Comes to Town," a four-hour miniseries on IFC. The first pair of half-hour episodes airs Friday (10 p.m. EDT).

It's bratwurst wrapped in bacon!

Progeny

Oh....my art

"I would have fucked your mom but the bitch is too fat" (aka Fuck you, Skeegs)

Just because.

More Crystal Palace, only watch till you here it.

OMG BFF LOL MALL from OMGBFFLOL on Vimeo.

Bringing the heat without mercy

Burn baby byrne. Like the tops of cylinders with no purpose. You don't shake my being any more than you frighten the bullshit from the taco stands. But that is not for me to say. Suits....float......write. Simplistic tragedies and forced fevered egos. Words. Suck it. Last night at Wendy's. 'member them shits? Well, forget it. And then times that shit by two. Bullet casings are more memorable if you find them on a walk to the grocery store. Kicking field goals won't win you nothin'...cept three points. Mark it and seal it with a B. Bitch.

Please Edit and Add

A man without a suit
Babies don’t float.
A carpet belt, watering dirt.
Shoes, sleeves and ties
Two thirds of what I write.
My own version of “I don’t mind if it’s bright outside.”
You know our needs, the white van from last night and a girl in red jeans.

Skate or Die! Don't worry, no porn in this video.

Hodunkpodunk

H-O-T

Dear Justin,

A new documentary.

http://www.fixtheministrymovie.com/

ach du liebe

Righters/Wrongers Cinder Block

That's what Bill had.

It's Charles Barkley Trrrible

Bad Decision, for future reference, don't show Lymph Node Squad to relatives, they don't trust the broccoli you cook, or your values.

This one goes out to......Olivia

This one goes out to Lee Sweat

Talk About The Blues

Arbeit Macht Fish-Frei

Don't call it a comeback

I've been here for years.

FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLS.

Like Bobby Goin's faith.

and plastinated egos.

Can't live there

I might not be able to live in yellow but I damn sure can watch two hours of it. "How Bruce Lee Changed The World" is get good gave give.

History channel shows things that have happened.

The P vs. CP

http://www.allbusiness.com/legal/trial-procedure-judges/13068073-1.html

Cynthia's Money Shot

More Cute

Nothing is true, everything is permitted.

Sorry friends, people, leaves of grass but I’m fucking pissed. The only absolute truth is if you cut a person’s throat deep enough they’re going to fucking die and a quadrilateral has 360 degrees. I can Google, Wikipedia, Yahoo and go down to the fucking library (the newest homeless shelter) and Dewey Decimal the fucking shit out of a topic finding 36 different answers to one question.
Who the fuck is right, what the fuck is right, is there a trusted source for some goddamn information? 18 sources say one thing and 15 reporters rub another one out in your eye. Does it add up, nowadays fuck yes it does and it probably did back then with a different font. Did the Moore’s bring paper to Europe, the textbook written in 2007 says no, but information now says “sure” what answer do you pencil in on the fucking Scantrontm.
I’ve lost trust in the written word and the audible and visual mediums are quickly collapsing, if realism is in question. People fake all representations of shit. Here, fucking eat it Dudley Moore says “It’s good!”, and the Jonas brother were seen pissing on a fucking turd last week. Fuck!

Brazil wins with this one.

Shouts Out to my Homeboy Luke.

Treats for the Soul II

Mmmmm-Hmmmm, doesn't that feel good?

Epidemic!

35 years of Skeegleton

You better go right now and look at Jilida crosseyed...fool

"It's MY Birfday."

Rest In Business Gary Coleman

Rrrrrrrrichie!

The Great Kabuki AND Kamala

MISSING LINK!

R.I.B., Dewey!...a little late.

Elvis Presley and I are/were second cousins!

Dingo Warrior in a Yugo.

Dallas Homies are the craziest, and best looking.

Lead singer of Einsturzende Nuebauten

People didn't have fingerprints in 1986.

Girl Talk does it better

and fuck it, here's some more Girl Talk for that ass:

What do you think?

Ebola

I wasn't expecting this.

How I'm getting my degree.

It's not food

Hustle and Flow

The movie Hustle and Flow has a Crystal Palace!I just saw it!

Happy 5th of Mayo, Arizona

Keepin' it REAL

I heard they are building a canopy over at the Coastal.

Talk shit now, shoe shine boys. Talk shit now.

Spartus. Still hoe checkin' after all these years.

Our face should be yours

Per the pending action item

"Host country brings the donuts, dicknuts."

"What?"

"You heard me, dicknuts. Host country....donuts???"

"That was not mentioned in the brochure. I asked Corbin...hey, someone get Corbin Bersen on the phone. I asked him specifically what the protocol was for something like this.....what, NOBODY has Corbin's number? His cell? Nothing? Pager???? something? Fucking useless....all of you. No, not you, GreggRuled. But the rest of you...fucking useless."

"Host country brings donuts."

friends with Krystal Palace on face book!

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100000431235512&suggestfriends=

Step into the Crystal Palace May 29, for the Crystal Ball.

close!

Crystal Palace: Baby Fiendly, Fun Colors!

Shit gets hard, at the Crystal Palace

EIT! LIVE! IN THE DESERT!!! from Everything Is Terrible! on Vimeo.

Crystal Palace - Read the comments, and lets rock that shit.

http://travel.yahoo.com/p-hotel-341066-crystal_palace_resort-i

Crystal Palace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RLJ3zcdPtl8

Gipsy Hill Tavern Pub, 79 Gipsy Hill, Crystal Palace, Crystal Palace & Upper Norwood (SE19), Greater London, SE19 1QH on UK Pub Finder .com

Gipsy Hill Tavern Pub, 79 Gipsy Hill, Crystal Palace, Crystal Palace & Upper Norwood (SE19), Greater London, SE19 1QH on UK Pub Finder .com

Eastpark Homies...sit in church

Charlie Parker, Gadies an Lentlemen.

Enjoy, It'll only last a week.

I ain't the one

Ode

Sometimes I used to wonder,

How the hell an ugly dude get a fine girls number.

He’s getting juiced for his duckets.

I tell a girl in a minute “yo, I drive a bucket”.

And won’t think nothin of it.

She can ride or walk, either love it or leave it.

Tullamore Dew

No disrespect, but you're fucking it up.

Huh?

Lies.

That don't even rhyme.

So

Okay

What?

You said dipshit?

Frankly, I did.

Frankly?

Ain't no ho called gets called 'cept I'ma call it a ho

Plagiarist!

So

Dipshit?

Old souls like me

Two boys still living on the right side of the dirt but sure thinking about the wrong side a lot.



like your momma

The divided society of the Old South

GodLand ,TX. Naaman Forest Rangers Fucking Rule!

Skeegs be BLOWIN IT UP!

Get in where you fit in my homeboy. He aint no Ed Harris but I enjoy it just the same.

I like chicken fried but more mainstream like my stream. My stream be choked too. Might be countin them internal rocks. Them that like to pass w/piss. If anyone passes you piss might I suggest you step off.

Watching some kid show with my kids. A bully grabbed two boys at the urinal troughs and made them face each other thus pissing on each other’s pants. I laugh. I laugh a lot. Kid shows pay off but the sheer volume that must be perused can be a deal breaker.

Chick'n Swoll from the Whole Chick'n.

Kurt Rambis lies When He Cries

Like Kristal Lines with vomit still on her lips,the U.N.'s Intergovernmental panel on Lymph Node Squad Control (LNSC) has released a summary of its latest report.

Will history show that March 11, 2010 marked the beginning of
intercontinental impregnation?

From Group .0001,written by 622 authors, vetted by 529 viewers "...this observed increase could be largely due to natural variability...there is new and stronger evidence that most pregnancies over the last 36 years is attributable to The Lymph Node Squad."
Ar4 tracks 4 million models from across the world and unanimous agreements exist among those doubled from preindustrial protocols. Although passing legislation to service incubators, companies in the EU, North America, Japan and even China are announcing their own emission reduction programs. Chairman of the LNSC, Fred, has said forthrightly, "In case you missed the nuance,I hope this report will shock people. Arrogantly and optimistically ***hard replied, "Sorry Kristal, thank you Jasmine."

Heart of a Champion

Potato Salad Fun-Fest

Oliva:

Sweaty lips, sweaty eyes...sweaty horoscope. Nothing's free anymore.

I just burned the dog.

Shape up or ship for only $3.99/lb now with one-click membership.

What have you done to deserve me?

Love,
Fred

P.S. It smells like your toast is burning.

Skeegleton Remembers

Oliva Drove with Two Feet

August 15, 1988 my Mom’s 35^th birthday, a memory delivering a valuable lesson;

one can look, but one can’t stare without permission.

Glass splits, metal burns and steel wrinkles hoping to match wet fingers from the pool. Bodies and blood scattered inside my Pa-pa’s Cadillac with something still smelling like concession-stand cheeseburgers. Oliva’s face was broken covering the steering wheel; Mom the only passenger wearing a seatbelt in the car had bruised ribs. My sister with fractured lips and nose sat sandwiched between me and my brother with an unconscious, open head.

The only injuries I endured, (eventually adapting to reward) would be the spectacle in front of my eyes. I didn’t know too much about driving except we were moving too fast to stop ahead of time, and seconds slowed down mistakably fast. I didn’t differentiate or appreciate detail until that moment. My eyelids were powerless, and my mind raced to ingest every force without summarization. Everything was fantastic for 29 seconds.

Reality quickly pitched attention, sirens sang as I sat on the curb abandoned with my sister waiting for someone I knew to arrive. I watched my family strapped, stained and carried. I was angry watching strangers enjoying the i and I without consent. Antagonized resentment fueled fetid emotions. I was once that family sprinkled within a once 14 foot fancy car so I confronted those eyes reflecting behind their own chrome door handles.

Finally, Fred arrived, “How’d they find him!” My sister and I remember it differently, Closing my eyes I see the cigarette lighter and feel the pilly interior which I rubbed my hands from frustration on Fred’s work-truck she thinks it’s the custom Sparkle-Bleu van of our Dads.

My life changed, I learned never to avert my eyes, creating an appreciation for 1/5000 of a second from behind a lens or a single brush stroke that might take ten minutes to think of. You can’t blame a scopophiliac’s propensity of watching substance in a redundant world. From a vicariate’s view, simple gore, boredom, humility, frustration, happiness, they’re all excited; I’ve changed knowing I like real life, not reality television real life, Real Life, but you have to sign up for it.

Memories disappeared until seeing my brother and praying “God save him, I’m sorry for everything I ever asked of you, that stupid baseball game…straight A’s…picked last and on everyone at school. Save him, Oliva, my Mom, and Sister”.

is that blood?

Is it wrong to not wear your seatbelt while driving to work so as not to wrinkle your silk shirt?

Also, for those about to know I dropped a full frontal, wildly animated "Thanks man" with the finger sniff and it felt totally wicked awesome with a hint of fantastic. then I tried every door handle I could find.

suck it

Skeegs needs to learn how to log in

oL:IVAS


i'
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tyowl;s hjerer arter clerane.. p[ancakers tyaste l;ikle suinfglowerts./ i needf mopre spasce opn tyher kley-=bnoartdm, tyher muisdc isd nmicer thjan evber,. andf io weatychj t./ V>?" HAHAJ CAps lock.
ty.v./'s ghrertat12!


watchj oputy fopr styep[hen hawkinmghs sopnm./ sdhjiot'''''s fort reral1 ! hiom andf frerdf./


bnee ghjoopd,./ m,ermasl;

Get off the wood, bitch

People train runs out of Stubbville.

Del: You play with your balls a lot.

Neal: I do NOT play with my balls.

Del: Larry Bird doesn't do as much ball-handling in one night as you do in an hour!

Neal: Are you trying to start a fight?

Del: No. I'm simply stating a fact. That's all. You fidget with your nuts a lot.

Neal: You know what'd make me happy?

Del: Another couple of balls, and an extra set of fingers?

RKS Sleeptalking

We were caught midshot with the insistent whining of Oliva. Witnessesrepeated her words in unison as if it was an obscure passage of the bible they had to memorize at a particular Catholic school with a particular religious professor who taught all of the students this compulsive little piece of propaganda. Ahem... Mr. Fred made offwith the "saving face" face.

make it enough

"Woman! I told you to take it OUT the fridge, not take it FROM the FRIDGE! You two timing WHORE! You sick twisted woman! I am right here in this house and you aint even trying to hide it from me. I'm gonna just let you just die there then let the kids see when they come over next week."

Skeegs wants his bike back

Fred yelled out, “Oliva, are you alright my love?” “No” she said gasping for breath as the weight of the refrigerator was slowly crushing her.

Suckahs

For those about to gawk,
I restribute your wealth.

At ease, gentlemen.

At ease.

ahem

For those about to rock, I salute you.

I am Elliot Six Nutts and I support this message.

Per Sender Regarding Lifeless Beings (A Skeegs be trippin' Production)

#2 Oliva responds "FUCK (Control C Control V)"
#3 "Shut -Up!"
#5 "Quiet!" another screams. "I cain't and ain't but gonna kick that taint."
.........................(then).
#4 "I don't care about you right now an I' it's the 1600 block!"


Four females kick and pummel a stranger with clothes on.

#2 "Don't come over here Don't Come, Over Here!!"

Passing judgments without turn signals, Injuries to his mouth, limited info, and we don't know why these shoes hurt..


#1 "wet noodles harder have harder noodkes th...."


Crunching phalanges.


#3, #4, #5 "Al Dente" they politely interrupt.
"My stretched beanie's like in YLentsl!" Contestant #1 exclaims.
#3 "Brabra Striesand's style!" Her foot still remains.


Kojak tactics choke like lactics, intolerant and full of rejection.


#4 "Not till he looks 18% gray."


Dangling like amniotic sacs on a clothes-line. "Happy Birthdays! Fred!"

Embedded in my brain stem

Capital idea coming soon!

I am going to do this. I am going to open a clinic. Look, so I enjoy douching things. My clinic is going to be open to any and all who need something douched.

Come one. Come all. Get douched how you like it. How you need it. Something you got needs douched? Come to me and my clinic. Refillable gifts cards will be available soon. Get it for your loved ones. Get if for those you don't like but know they need it or have something that needs it.

Things need douching and PLEASE tell me if you know of anyone else that is better suited to douch something out than this guy. Anyone? That is what I thought.

Second on the list of things to do is to be able to mobilize my services. Anywhere, any time.

This is a highly unserved market. DOUCHERS UNITE!!!

Your lady friend not handling things correctly? Come on in!
Your animals fouling up your scene? Bring it!
Your car, turck or van not have that fresh feeling? Let's do this!

Also available, the unprecedented and record breaking, now patented UN-douching!

Your buddy came over with frosted tips? Fuck him, let's fix that!
Your boss enjoys flaunting his self-importance? Let's take him/her down a peg!

your mom called, she wants it back

Flashbacks from a Past of Greatness

Still no word from the people who aren't speaking to us.

Then what happened?

"Can you breathe through your ears?"

"Huh?"

"Just ho checkin'"

Skeegs Speaks

Says he:

The doctor said, "Your eyes are dried Fred, but what happened to MY skin. I'm picking blood from my scalp, veins(I before E except after look okay). I express my deepest sympathy and neglect. You cry when you laugh but you're still dying. You're still eating, you're still, you're still FFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDD!".

You did?

Allow me to reciprocate. That is to say, enunciate. Words be trippin'.

So, let's do this thing. Again.

Where's my wilin' SOBs? Where's my writin' so and sos? Because they do call them SOs sometimes, too.

"How you ain't got my shit when I let you hold it?"

Don't get me starty

Y'all know its a Bacardi party up in here....why come you don't invite the guests?

Fred Gives

Fred looked at himself in the mirror.

"Damn, I look good."

Crowded winds forced the onlookers to flee. "Does Polly want a cracker?"

You be the judge of me, Holmes. I've got work to do.

weapons dont kill, we do

Ray Wylie Hubbard help write this movie. Dwight Yokum and Kris Kristopherson look like badasses as usual. Must see.

Check the website for trailer as well as an opportunity to design T-Shirts or submit musical scores for the movie.

http://www.lastritesfilm.com/

Tubed segment